Feeling 'wound up', anxious, tense or stressed are by and large symptoms of the problems that are causing them. You can help manage the symptoms by listening to relaxation tapes. The idea, which seems to work, is that by having a relaxed body you can help yourself to have a relaxed mind. Many people are muscularly tense, sometimes without realizing it, breathing, for example, in a shallow way which contributes to the tension. There are a variety of tapes available and your own GP or a local clinical psychologist may be able to recommend one to you. I list a few at the end. These tapes make pleasant listening and can help you learn to relax your muscles and control your breathing.

However, you need to remember that relaxation exercises are not an instant cure for tension - you have to put some time and effort into using them. Psychologists call this relaxation training therapy - note the word 'training'. But if you see doing these routines as yet another chore, the extra 'stress' of having to do relaxation exercises may be less helpful than is desirable. Along with relaxation exercises some people find yoga is helpful, since this too helps reduce muscular tension in a controlled way and teaches the sort of breathing that fosters a sense of tranquility. Similarly, some people with tinnitus find that meditation helps them. Most local authorities run yoga evening classes and some may offer meditation sessions.

As I said before, stress that is felt to be at an uncomfortable level is a symptom rather than a cause, and you need to consider what the cause or causes might be. If you are very busy you are likely to see 'relaxation' as yet another thing you are supposed to be doing - the solution then is not so much a relaxation tape as trying to 'slow down' a little. This, of course, is much easier said than done for people who have a lifestyle where they are on the go from dawn to dusk. Many people have difficulty in learning to say 'no' to other people's requests, for fear of seeming uncooperative or selfish. However, this inability to say 'no' tends to make people over- commit themselves, which may on the one hand take their mind off tinnitus, but on another produce stress which at the end of the day makes it all the more noticeable.

Again the dilemma here seems to be that the more you can absorb yourself in activities, the less you are likely to be aware of the tinnitus, but the more you may become the 'headless chicken' - creating the sort of tension that exacerbates the tinnitus at the end of the day. Moderation is the key, as in almost everything in life.

Related to this is the temptation some of us put in front of ourselves to try and be 'perfect'. Wouldn't it be nice if I had managed to cope perfectly with my tinnitus - without it ever having made me irritable or depressed or snap at my wife and children. Well, you should not expect yourself to be perfect because you are setting standards that you will not reach and you may then feel anxious or guilty or depressed because of not being able to reach them. You do not have to feel you are a coping 'failure' if from time to time you feel the need to 'give in' and have a good sob. To some people having tinnitus can be like a sort of sadness over what is thought to be a lack of peace and quiet - the 'silence' is dead and gone forever. If you want to have a good cry now and then, you don't have to feel guilty about it, it might be a useful way to gain emotional relief.

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